You..........

You are good in mentally torturing someone you claim you are adoring and caring. You are good in hurting people. You are good in scolding people. You are such a good liar. You are good in making promises which will never come truth. You are good in making someone cry all the time.

Why are you able to do so? Don't you ever feel sorry? Don't you ever feel pain?

You never feel sorry and you not even try to say "sorry". You are just expecting others to accept who you really are.

Happy is never a good word to describe the life at this place. In fact, suffering is a thorough word to describe the life here. Let go, will it be a good choice? Will the suffer end? Will everything end? Please start to learn how to let go, learn how to start a new life~~~please please please.... everything will be fine..... just need to be brave.....

I'm back!!

I am barely remember i have this blog until a friend of mine has reminded me about it. I have stopped updating my blog about a year. It such a long period and so many things had happened and changed.

Let me start with my last topic ~~ moving to Limkokwing, Kuching Campus. Eventually i'm here in Kuching branch as a program leader/head of faculty. It has been about nine months and another two months left. I'm leaving this place end of this June. Again...leaving...YA! It's can be good and it can be bad for me.

Good for me because i got a better offer and finally i got a chance to go back industry to gain different experience. I'm appreciating that Dato Wong is willing to give me this chance. It definitely will be a journey with full excitement and challenge. I'm really looking forward my new undertaken.

Bad for me because i'm leaving my hometown again-- my family and my friends. I may able to see them again just twice in a year. It depends on my time and workloads. This time god knows how long am i going to stay away from my family. This time is a decisive point that i have to stay permanently in west m'sia and find my own life there. Does it going to work? I'm not sure.... in depth i'm still hoping to come back to my hometown one day so i can spend most of my time with my family and my friends. I'm really envy my friends who actually able to do it.

Counting down the days..... 80 days.....
No matter good or bad... it's my fate.... God bless me!

Transfer to Kuching--Seriously???

Lately i have been thinking of transferring to Limkokwing, Kuching branch in second half of this year. Practically it will be coming august till december. My current situation is I have completed all my courseworks in my master program and now left thesis. So i'm thinking may be going there will be helpful to me. Such as less work load, better environment, lesser expenses(will it?, god knows...hahaha), closer to my beloved family, and so on. I think i will have more time to concentrate on my thesis compare in cyberjaya campus where it always full with ad-hoc matters. I assume the thesis will take me one year to complete it. In fact, no matter how i have to complete it in a year. I couldn't afford to drag it any longer. I want freedom, i don't want to stuck at the same place anymore.

But there is still a lot of concerns and there is a sound in me and keep questionning me: "Are you seriously want to transfer to Kuching?" Repeatingly..............

ANSWER: .............i'm not sure yet.............

SO SHOULD I GO?????

April is killing me and driving me crazy!

I guess April was the busiest and sufferring month in the year! All kind of pressure, tension, stress came in one shot.

Master Class ---> mid term exam, assignments, presentation, final exams

Work ---> preparing for classes, marking about 1000 copies of students' works

Everyday has to rush with the deadline, everything needs to be done in a short duration. I have have to admit i'm really suck in time management therefore i stuck myself in such a bad situation. No one can help me even anyone wants to offer me their hands. It's really drive me crazy. At this moment, i just can't continue anymore just want to find somewhere to release myself.

I can't wait to finish up all these things. I am so desperate to look forward the coming 30 apr 2009. The day i'm going to have my very last master final exam in my life. After that i will be totally free from struggling to meet the deadline, to submit assignments and to sit for different exams. I just need to fully concentrate on my thesis. But people told me that the real miserable life only begin at the moment i start my thesis. I couldn't be bothered much. I just want to relax myself after 30 april 2009. Then only i will come back to the miserable life again.

unmarried + pregnancy = consequences of it???

Someone inspired me to write this blog today. There are a lot of questions came into my mind from nowhere. Why girl always tend to being an idiot? Why girl always choose to sacrify? Why girl always choose love over her own family? Why girl choose to being an coward?

Again another case, a lady got pregnant without married. Furthermore she moved into so called "her husband" second home lately by lieing to her own family that she is going outstation for work. She admits that she feels guilty about it but she can't do anything but just wait to pay back one day by any chance. Moreover her unmarried husband seem like has another family to take care of. He also always travel around and hardly see him at home. It is so pathetic to me and i just can't help myself and wanted to show my compassion to her. But i can't... it's hard to describe. I can foresee that she is going to face this things by her own self. Without blessing from both families, just by herself. Doesn't she feel sorry to the baby and family.

I wrote "again another case" because it happened once in my very own family. I know the feeling and i know it is hard to accept it. What i have learnt is never try to hide anything from your family. Eventually they always are the one stay by your side and support you. They always accept your mistakes and forgive you. Family love always stronger than anything. I said this from my own experience. I'm proud of my parents who forgive my sister and help my sister to overcome the tough time she ever had.

Besides that, a best friend of mine also got the same situation. About her, i'm totally speechless....Because her sitution never seem getting better and for me i think it is getting worse. I can't bother much because she chose to live in her own style. Even though her family also couldn't bother much. She never listen to anyone of us. She told me that "this is not my house" when she was actually in her own family's house to celebrate chinese new year. Can you imagine a baby girl who is hided away from her own grandparents and mum's relatives. She is turning 3 years old this year if i'm not mistaken.Till now she is yet to be recognized by any of her mum's relatives.

What i am trying to say here is girl should learn to protect themselves and love themselves. Choose love over family is never a great thing. Think twice before you want to give birth a baby without a proper married life. Don't make your baby's life miserable and in a mess.

flood in Sibu~

Flood in sibu during CNY which frustrated all of the Sibunian. These are the pictures of my front house view. This CNY i had spent most of my time at home.

Boss!

My Bosses are really fine with me lately. Boss S and I return to normal and she treats me better now. I'm not too sure why but she started talking to me and treats me differently before she went for her Deevapali holiday. It is quite surprise and anyhow it is good as well. Because i don't need to suffer for this kind of office politic anymore. But there are some colleagues still undergoing it. As a third party, i really feel sorry about it. After all, it is not a good experience. Everyday they have to face mentally depress and pressure. Hopefully this is not gonna be last long otherwise everyone will start thinking more and more negatively.